so about that village

in spite of being lodged deeply in the ego-centric teenage years, i still remember when hillary clinton brought the phrase, "it takes a village to raise a child" into the mainstream. sure, she didn't coin the term, nor was she solely responsible for its dissemination into pop culture, but i still think of her when that phrase is used. (note: this post is NOT about hillary clinton. at all.).  

this phrase was largely meaningless to me when i first heard it. sure, at that time in my life, i had the intellectual capability to discern its meaning and probably apply it to my own life. i could have rattled off several names of those playing significant roles in my upbringing. beyond that, however, it could not have had any real impact. 

it has been such a blessing to really begin to understand the weight of what that phrase implies in my role as a mother. the incredible responsibility and privilege of raising children is not one that was ever intended to be done alone. first and foremost, i think of the incredible partner i have in my husband. i truly believe there is no one better suited for raising our boys than he is. the role of the leader in the family is not insignificant. he provides for us through his hard work, but also cares for our spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. he and i together make decisions about how to discipline our children. we pick up the slack when the other is exhausted and carry one another when we're both too tired to move. i can't imagine filling the role of mother without him filling the role of father. the two are simply inseparable. i know there are many tragic circumstances that make this impossible for some. i use the word 'tragic' because it is indeed a tragedy. any breakdown of the original intention god had for the family is tragic, whether it's thru divorce, death, or otherwise. i'm so thankful for the blessing of a good husband and father for my kids.

but the idea of "village" certainly implies more than just two. our kids have two great sets of grandparents and some aunts and an uncle that love them dearly. the hard part is we live so far away. so far. and while all these people are a part of our village, they provide a very different kind of support. for the first two years of our first son's life, we didn't live with any real sense of community. we were fairly new to a new city and neighborhood, and really struggled to find the kind of loving community we knew was possible. by god's grace only, we found a wonderful church and moved into the most amazing of neighborhoods. i remember as a child living in a neighborhood filled with other kids my age. we went to church with some and school with others. we always played together and some of my best memories from childhood involve those people. in our current neighborhood, we have no less than a dozen friends, many with small children. many of these families attend the same church we do. we enjoy meals together, care for one another's children, celebrate birthdays and holidays, and just do life together. it's no small thing to know that you can leave your children in the care of a friend and know they will be cared for in much the same way you would care for them yourself. the same standards of behavior will be expected from them and they will be held accountable for wrong actions. this is our village. for this period of our lives--however long it may be--these are the people who are helping us in the enormous task of raising our children. and we are (hopefully) helping with theirs. from tips on potty training and weaning from pacifiers, to swapping childcare and even sharing cold germs (ok, so it's not all glamorous)--we are all helping to carry one another along and provide encouragement for the journey. i'm so thankful for my village.