i didn't have to think too hard to decide on a title for this blog. the last time i tried this blogging thing, it was during a really tough season of my life when we didn't know if we'd even be able to have children. it's evidence of god's blessing and provision that this next go 'round--this new season of being stretched and challenged and feeling so full to the brim that i have to write it all down so i don't forget anything--it is during the season of motherhood. both times, though, it has been so clear to me the lesson that i was meant to be learning through it, and the title has come quickly from that.
when i say that motherhood has been a humbling experience, i mean it in every respect. prior to the birth of my first child i was working as a social worker, responsible for coaching parents in the areas of discipline, child development, and basic child-rearing (yes, the girl without kids teaching parents--some twice my age--about raising their children). and i was a typical mid-20's individual who thought i'd figured it all out and had some kind of authority on the subject parenting. it's no wonder some of my clients didn't take me seriously! if there's one lesson i've had to learn, it's that my children (or anyone else's for that matter) are not a textbook and parenting is hard work! it's a process of learning and growing and trail and error. it's patience and persistence and success and failure. accepting i didn't know all there was to know was a hard pill to swallow. i still struggle with the need to look like i have it all together and have all the answers. but the truth is, many times i don't.
admitting i don't have all the answers has meant that i've had to be humbled in another way, too. i've had to learn to ask for help. oh wow, is that hard. for most of my life i have worked hard to be the person with the answers. this was true in school, but even outside of school-in my personal and professional life-i have really enjoyed being the person who others could come to with their questions. but, you know, i have discovered this wonderful and amazing and beautiful thing in the act of asking for help. other moms are doing it too! in fact, we are all leaning on each other and learning from one another. sure, we are most closely learning about parenting with our spouses and the majority of the decisions and support comes from each other. but i have found this incredible network exists with other mothers. from the mundane to the major, it is such a blessing to be able to gain wisdom from other women who are walking the same journey of motherhood! some are a few steps ahead on the path and can pass along precious truths and bits of encouragement. and what a blessing to be able to share with another coming up behind and help lessen their load. parenting is hard enough. no need to reinvent the wheel.
of course, there's also the humility that comes with being utterly humiliated. and we've all been there. in my pre-child days, i swore i would never be the mother whose children made a scene. anywhere. it wasn't so much a judgment of the other parent as it was motivation for me to anticipate the problem and prevent it. but oh have i learned the hard way. all the discipline and planning and positive reinforcement (who am i kidding? outright bribery!) in the world can't mitigate the dreaded toddler meltdown. it's going to happen. i've been hit in the face while carrying a screaming 2 year-old from one place or another. i've collected items scattered on the floor in protest while in the checkout line (whoever decided all checkout lines needed candy CLEARLY didn't have children. am i right???). i've listened to the patronizing and probably well-intended parenting advice from non-parents and those who long ago forgot what it was like to have a toddler while trying to quietly escape from the scene of the latest tantrum. don't get me wrong, i'm certainly not excusing my child's behavior, nor does he get away with it. but sometimes i swear it would be less humiliating to walk around stark naked than to bring a toddler out in public!
my point in all this is to say that the honor and the privilege and the incredible responsibility of being a mother is not to be taken lightly. it is a wonderful thing to be humbled by motherhood.
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